Treatment of the elderly parent sometimes places the family in a situation that requires coping with repeated crises. This situation can lead to conflicts that should be resolved quickly in order to continue caring for the parent.
What are the causes of conflicts between caregivers?
Since the treatment sometimes necessitates reunification of the family unit, the reasons for the conflicts between the family members at this time often derive from past relations between them. The new closeness is liable to “resurrect” the old system of forces and problems that have not been solved in the past, and may now rise and rise again, to which problems and controversies related to the treatment approach.
What are the main types of conflicts?
Past problems that recur – Intensive care again raises conflicts between parents and children and the brothers themselves. Parents tend to show dissatisfaction with their children’s choices and try to retain the role of responsible parent, even though they are now the ones who become dependent and in need of treatment. The brothers also come up with conflicts related to the past and the attitude they received from their parents. If one of the brothers is considered to be the “preferred son,” the jealousy toward him will come back suddenly, even if there is no basis for it.
Controversies over how to treat and finance it – “2 Jews, 3 opinions” The saying goes, and so does the treatment of a family member. Everyone has an opinion about what to do, where to take care of what the family can do without help. These conflicts may lead to further conflict, which revolves around economic issue and payments for treatment.
Controversy over the distribution of treatment – If the child is treated at home, the treatment should be decided. In most cases, most of the treatment is done by one family member, a “primary caregiver”. This has implications for his independence, and for the care of his own family, and may lead to resentment and anger toward the others, whom he deems insufficiently helpful.
How can conflict be avoided?
In order to avoid conflicts, it is always worthwhile to think ahead. Once the need for treatment is identified, it is recommended to do two things:
Offer of help – the other side of the coin. Sometimes the “primary caregiver” will refuse to leave the patient and will want to continue treating at any cost. Here the other family members should offer their help and make it clear to him that he needs a short rest and that they can help as well.
Professional assistance – Sometimes addressing a qualified professional can solve the problem. The outsider sees the conflict objectively and is able to offer neutral solutions that will satisfy all members of the family and help organize.
Conflicts within the family during treatment are something to be treated immediately and, if possible, even before treatment begins. A quick solution will bring clarity and clarity to the treatment, which will become more pleasant and give the patient a better feeling. So, try to talk about the problems even if it is not simple sometimes
Have a family conversation about the situation – share with the whole family, and make them part of the treatment, even if they are far away. Communication between family members is very important, because it is a supportive environment for the therapist that also helps in making important decisions. However, family members who do not care should remember not to be critical of the therapist and understand his condition. To criticize is always easy, but you have to think whether you would have acted otherwise, if you were the caregivers.
Division of treatment – equal distribution in treatment can be problematic because each member of the family has a different schedule and needs. Therefore, it is recommended to think together about what each person can give, whether it is in the day to day care or whether it is in dealing with documents or financial matters and, accordingly, to divide the treatment.
How do we get out of the conflict?
Talk about it – so simple and so hard. Sometimes there are issues on which they do not speak in the family, and the renewed stay together brings them up. But when you do not talk about things, they stay in the air and make it difficult to continue treatment. An honest conversation may solve this situation.
Asking for help – Sharing family experiences, feelings, difficulties can help them understand what the main therapist is dealing with. Asking for help from other family members may help you cope.